Friends, I don’t mean to sound like a whiney baby or anything, but I’ve had so much on my plate over the last 7 months. On top of mommin’ kids, I’ve been bringing our youngest kid to a bunch of therapies (you guys might remember me sharing with you that Gus has ASD) anywhere from 2-4 times a week, on top of daily school . My oldest, Finn, had been attending an elementary school that was out of our district, which meant pick up and drop off every day, and on top of all that my husband (aka partner in crime) has been traveling for work more than ever. Summer has been full of swimming lessons, science camp, summer school, birthdays, and also we happily have the kids’ friend Elsa hanging with us M-F. I guess I didn’t realize how much all of this running and kid-lyfe consumed my day-to-day.
Last week was my first free week since the beginning of January. We (the kids and I) had nothing to do, and honestly, I was a little bit lost with this new freedom. I tried to enjoy it, and chill, and hang with the kids, but I felt lost without a specific place to focus my energies. I honestly was feeling a bit depressed, which seems like the opposite of what I should’ve been feeling.
I tried to offset my lack of focused energy by filling my time with things that I remembered enjoying. I got caught up on all my favorite blogs, devoured and went down every pinterest rabbit hole, thumbed through lots of magazines and got back on my daily workout routine.
Then something cool happened. Like lighting (don’t care how cliche that sounds), creativity struck. My mind was racing and full of new and exciting ideas. Ideas were coming fast, and I realized I was feeling intention and purpose, something that I haven’t felt in a really long time. As I used to do when these feelings would happen, I hit the ground running. I made plans, wrote things down, made sketches, and before I knew it I was painting the wall in our entry – a small symbol of an even bigger feeling.
The significance of what this meant to me is huge. For the last two years I’ve been trying to figure out why I haven’t felt consistently creative, whether it was medications or anxiety, or had I just lost it? I’m beginning to realize that creativity takes time and focus, and my other mom duties have eaten up a lot those energies. To be creative requires a mind that has the time to rest and have the ability to wander, as well as the time to think through and build from ideas.
Anyways, I guess I just wanted to share that I feel very excited about what the future holds. August is still a little busy for the kids and I, but much less so than the previous 7 months. School starts again in September. Finn will be going to a school where he can catch the bus on the corner, and Gus will be going full time three days a week and part time the other two. I will have time in my days where I can focus, and think, and do! The support and validation I felt from all the instagram high-fives last week felt good too, so thank you! I have plans guys, and I’m excited to share more as they begin to take shape.